Of Sausages & Presidents

So, I’ve probably watched more baseball games these last two seasons than I ever have in my life. Seems strange, since I’ve never lived so far from a major league franchise… but, DirecTV and the Major League Baseball Extra Innings package have been good to me. This makes me think that certain ballparks have some pretty funny entertainment. These two are my favorite:

At Miller Park in Milwaukee, the Brewers host a race during each game. The famous Sausage Race is huge fan favorite. I mean seriously, there is just something inherently hilarious about sausages sprinting feverishly toward the finish line. The race contestants, true icons of the city of Milwaukee, are the Bratwurst, Polish Sausage, Italian Sausage, and Hot Dog. In their infinite wisdom, the Brewers realized that the Sausage Race was not just entertainment, but also a money-making piece of social commentary. So, in 2007 they introduced a new hero for Wisconsin’s growing Latino population: the Chorizo. Personally, I don’t always have to root for Chorizo, you all know how I feel about Italy. Run Italian Sausage, Run!!



In 2005, the Montreal Expos felt so unloved in hockey land that they (MLB, that is) moved the franchise to our nation’s capital. The Washington Nationals were born. Or reborn, but whatever. It must be hard coming up with brand new ideas. The Nationals came up with a stroke of genius, however. They gave their new fans a wonderful mascot race of their own. Their race contestants are the four Mt. Rushmore presidents, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abe Lincoln, and Teddy Roosevelt. This race makes me laugh even more than the Sausage Race. And it’s not just because their heads are so big, that I can relate. Someone in the Nationals organization understood that a key element to comedy is repetition. At every Nats home game, their fans cheer on their lovable loser, Teddy Roosevelt. TR may be a towering figure in American history, but his new distinction is that he is the only president to have never won a race. NEVER. TR has been in the lead coming down the stretch, only to trip over his own big head or for some unexplained reason start running off in the wrong direction! He just can’t buy a win. In one famous race, TR actually crossed the finish line first, only to get disqualified for starting the race improperly. Will he ever win??? I mean, this drama is enough to make me want to buy a ticket to the ballgame. How about you?



Oh, as a side note. The Mets are flirting with a melt down of historic proportions. They have been in first place since practically opening day, but they are playing like they want to give the division away. The Phillies are only one and half games back of a potential Metastrophe. But, I’m trying not to think about it.