Decision [Insert This Year]

Democracy has finally reached the far-flung territory known as "Oregon", just a few short days after it reached the all-important territory of Guam. At long last, I can finally stop watching TV and reading online and actually vote for my favorite democrats. (Yes, that was plural. But more on that later.) Oregon is actually the only state in the Union+Guam that votes by mail. To the rest of the country+Guam, the official date of the Oregon primary is May 20. But, this week I received my official ballot in the mail. Yes, I can exercise democracy in my pajamas and complete my ballot in the comfort of my own home. My voted ballot must be received by 8pm on May 20th. There are two ways to do this. First, I can place it in the U.S. Mail, at cost, which seems sort of like a voting tax. You see, Freedom is Not Free!! But, in the case that you do want your freedom to be free, then you can deposit it yourself in an official election drop box. They are strategically scattered around town. These drop boxes are interesting. They are each monitored by 24-hour surveillance camera, which is why I am now in the habit of voting in disguise...

As I'm sure you've heard, there is an epic battle being waged in this Democratic primary. I believe it's between someone named Clinton and someone named Barack. But, if you thought that was the only important decision to be made in Oregon, then you are sadly mistaken, my friend. There is another epic battle being waged here for the democratic nomination for U.S. Senate. Here, too, the Democrats just can't seem to decide who they really want to send off into battle with the already chosen Republican (an incumbent, in this case). The two leading contenders are Jeff Merkley and Steve Novick. The only things that you need to know about Merkley are that he is the "establishment" candidate and every time I see his name, I'm forced to repeat it 3 times ("Merkley Merkley Merkley"). That gets annoying. Now, Steve Novick is the ultimate underdog story. And the underdog is doing well in recent polls, I might add. I'll give you the quick details: He was born in Newark, NJ (shout out!) and his family moved to Oregon when he was ten. Did I mention that he was born without a left hand and without a fibula in either leg? When his junior high school closed due to budget cuts, Steve Novick started taking classes at the U of O. At age 18, he was accepted to Harvard Law. Afterwards, he worked for the Justice Department and was lead counsel on the landmark Love Canal environmental clean up case. When Steve Novick says that he will "fight for the little guy", it's personal (he stands at 4'9").

All I can say is, I love this country!